Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I've become disgusted with myself of late.
It has been somewhere around three months since I quit smoking, and in the course of trying not to smoke...I have, as thousands before me...picked up the awful habit of stuffing food in my mouth rather than a cigarette. OK...so we tell ourselves...it's for the sake of not smoking...I have to do something...DESTRUCTIVE to myself...or I just won't feel good about doing something CONSTRUCTIVE for myself.

I'm done with that kind of thinking. As you all who have been following me will attest to...I have been leaning towards getting healthier...what with the walks...I was about to say "and all", but I can't say I have and other "and all" healthy habits that I have been stressing on. Look, here it is in a nut shell. For the past several weeks, I have noticed things that are really distressing to me.

1. My fattest fat pants are no longer my fattest pants. In fact they are tight on me around the waist.
2. Bending over to put my chaps on....are you kidding me? I can barely do it...and certainly not in a single maneuver like I used to do.
3. I hate looking at my reflection. It isn't me...it's someone who looks kinda like me...but she's as round as an apple...and has a fat face, and she just don't have that great smile anymore like she used to.

That woman in the mirror needs to work out, eat less, and smile more. So I have decided to work out an eating plan, as well as an activity plan for myself. I no longer will accept any excuses for having high fat food in my hands...heading for my mouth. I will no longer accept reasons for sitting on the couch rather than getting up and doing something, walking, cleaning the toilet, wiping the dogs butt...what ever...rather than sitting on the couch and watching TV. I vow...that whenever the urge to close my eyes and nap comes along...I will get my dead ass up and do something...anything, rather fall into that trap of laziness. God help me, I'm through with this shit.
OK, done for now. I have to get back to work.